The title of this blog came to me before I had any idea what to write about. I have tried to think of something profound or helpful, but I am drawing a blank. My day started out good enough. We had a fun morning at our neighbors house, then saw an afternoon movie. I think it started after the baby's nap. She woke up after a short nap and was really fussy. She has been doing a lot of that lately, whining and fussing. We all enjoyed the movie. William is in his busy season, so he is working a lot, so I try to get the girls out and about to help them and to help my patience stretch through the long days! Anyway, we stop to pick up an order from Chipotle's for dinner and they messed it up and took much longer than they should have. Let me tell you, by the time I made it to the car I was so irritated that my face was burning. After allowing some not so choice words and phrases escape my lips, I started to wonder what my deal was! Why in the world was I so annoyed just because dinner was a bit late? I would hope that people would not get so annoyed with me when I am late. What is the condition of my heart today that I would have that type of attitude and display it in front of my kids?
The easy answer would be that we all have bad days. I am stressed, busy, burdened, blah, blah. I could go on and on. The real answer is that I don't know. It certainly has nothing to do with the lady at Chipotle's. God said that David was a man after His own heart. I am not. Thank goodness God does not get angry with me when I am late doing His will! What was David's heart like?
I think the first hint is in 1 Samuel 19 verse 7 when Samuel sees Eliab and thinks that he is the one God wants him to annoint. God tells him "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
What is the Lord seeing today when He looks at my heart? Mostly selfishness I would say. Selfishness that leads to annoyance when the evening did not go my way. Selfishness that leads to me putting my angry feelings over that of my children feeling uncomfortable while they are stuck in a car hearing me rant and rave. Selfishness that leads to my not being and showing thanks for the fact that I was able to enjoy my children tonight and provide them with food.
Father, forgive me for my selfish heart. Create in me a heart that is pleasing to you, a heart that longs and thirsts for you.
Thursday, January 4, 2007
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
New Beginnings!
A new year, 2007! What will become of my family, my home, myself during this next year. You can't help but wonder what the new year holds. I am very aware that life as I know it can change in a split second. I might as well get this out in the open, I am a control freak. I wish it were not so, but I am and knowing that the major percentage of my life is out of my control, at times drives me insane. It is not that I don't trust others in the drivers seat. I don't think I am better, I just like to be aware of everything going on so I can have a plan. A new year brings a new journey in which I am not in control.
Being as I am, I do not like New Year's resolutions. Mostly because I have already dropped them by about January 5th!! I do have goals though that I want to work towards. One is to do some type of physical activity 4 days a week. Another is to work on my "all or nothing" issue. I am sure that I am not alone in this, but I either go hogwild crazy on something or decide I can't do it and then don't. I would have to say that this probably lays root with my control freak personality, but who am I to say. I am working hard to realize that I can take baby steps towards things and that that is okay.
My big goal for the year is from Psalm 63:1. Just in case you don't have that verse committed to memory, I will share....."O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where ther is no water."
There are many things in my life that I have longed for, but I can't say that my body has longed for God. I wish that I had. Don't get me wrong, I have a love for God. I would even go so far to say that I have desired God at times, but never a longing. I have met people that long for God. You can just tell it when you are around them. Anyway, I read this verse one morning and really started to wonder why I did not feel like this. I prayed about it and decided that I would study the source of the verse, David. I mean, out of everyone in the Bible, I really relate to him. He messed up big time and many times, yet God called him a man after his own heart. So throughout this new year, I am going to take a journey studying David. I would love to have you journey with me. My prayer is that when I am done, I will thirst and long for my Savior!
Being as I am, I do not like New Year's resolutions. Mostly because I have already dropped them by about January 5th!! I do have goals though that I want to work towards. One is to do some type of physical activity 4 days a week. Another is to work on my "all or nothing" issue. I am sure that I am not alone in this, but I either go hogwild crazy on something or decide I can't do it and then don't. I would have to say that this probably lays root with my control freak personality, but who am I to say. I am working hard to realize that I can take baby steps towards things and that that is okay.
My big goal for the year is from Psalm 63:1. Just in case you don't have that verse committed to memory, I will share....."O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where ther is no water."
There are many things in my life that I have longed for, but I can't say that my body has longed for God. I wish that I had. Don't get me wrong, I have a love for God. I would even go so far to say that I have desired God at times, but never a longing. I have met people that long for God. You can just tell it when you are around them. Anyway, I read this verse one morning and really started to wonder why I did not feel like this. I prayed about it and decided that I would study the source of the verse, David. I mean, out of everyone in the Bible, I really relate to him. He messed up big time and many times, yet God called him a man after his own heart. So throughout this new year, I am going to take a journey studying David. I would love to have you journey with me. My prayer is that when I am done, I will thirst and long for my Savior!
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