Week One!!!

What I have struggled with: I must admit that I am now getting restless. I found myself today thinking, hey I could just do this for another week, two would be enough! I think now that taking away the conveinences are starting to become part of our habits, some real issues are popping up. For one, my selfishness. I am seeing how easily and quickly I skip from thinking about others to thinking about myself and how things will affect my life. For example...I will bake dinner and bring it to so and so. That will make them feel better.....and they will like me more.

I really hate the fact that I fall into that so quickly. I am struggling with that a lot this week. I know that there is only one way to get rid of the selfish thoughts and desires, and that is to ask the Almighty for help, but frankly, I am afraid to do that. Instead I spend my time reading scriptures and thinking about what I can do to fix it and not asking Him for help. Why would I be afraid? you ask. I struggle with the mindset of when you ask God to change something in your life, He does it with a tragedy. My head knows that this is not truth, but my heart is not as knowing.

William and I were talking this week about an issue he was having with Kalli being sick and he told me about something he prayed for. The first thing out of my mouth was, "You don't pray with disclaimers!?" Now, I was slightly kidding, but largely serious. I pray with disclaimers like....God, please build my faith, but please don't teach me with anything involving my children or husband and could you also try to teach me in the small quiet way, I will really try and pay attention. I figure probably every parent feels this to an extent....do any of you feel like this?

Anyway, away from my ramblings and back on topic.....eerrr, I forgot the topic. Oh yes, my selfishness. Well, I am struggling with this right now. I am amazed at how when you peel some of the layers of your everyday life back, how quickly the issues show up!


What my family thought: I must say that I think they are doing better than I am. Brianna and Tori both have such sweet, giving hearts. They would honestly give up whatever was needed to help someone else. Brianna gave up having a birthday party or trip this year and gave her money to a christian group that goes to other countries to provide medical care. My Tori is always sticking up for the underdog! She is normally pretty shy, but when she hears someone speak a hateful word to someone else, she will speak up. Even my sweet Emaleigh left her first team practice this week and said she did not think she wanted to be with that team because they were not nice to one of the little girls on the team. I am so glad that despite my selfishness and all of my flaws, God have given my four babies a heart that yearns for Him.

What I have learned: When I let go of a part of my life to free up for Him, I try to fill it up with something else. This week I have been on the computer soooo much. Reading things, watching free shows. Though my reading was for good things and the shows were great, I am filling my time up instead of "being still and know that I am God." Which is one of my purposes of the exercise in the first place.

I will say though that William and I have had the time for some awesome discussions this week! More about that later :)

What I want to learn: Still the same, I want to yearn for God. I want to think of Him first thing when I wake up and last thing at night and all in between!

Thanks for sticking with me this long!!!

Day Four!!!!

What I struggled with: We were invited to a skating shindig and had to turn it down. That was kinda hard. Good thing is we suggested the park instead and that is now a go!

What my family thought: Williams main thought of the day is that "Heroes was awesome tonight!" What profound input he has. He wants to add that "It is better to burn out than to fade away." Whatever!!

What I have learned: Letting go a bit and letting God take control is kinda a good, freeing feeling. Tomorrow I hope to take some of my extra time (earned from not worrying so much) and get into the Word!

What I want to learn: I want to yearn for God the way I do for material things. I want Him to overtake my thoughts instead of thinking about "stuff"

Day Three!!

What I struggled with: Selfishness! I honestly had trouble giving the money we have saved thus far to church today. We had decided that was what we wanted to do with what we saved and I am ashamed to say that it was hard. I felt like I had sacrificed to get the money and I should be able to save it for myself. This is not the attitude I was wanting to develop from this! I also think I am spending too much time on what I can do to teach our family and myself through this and not letting God do and teach us what He wants us to learn from this.

What my family thought: William said it was hard for him today because there were several times he started to run out and buy something and had to stop himself. He is also wondering what we are going to do for date night tomorrow since we can't go out to eat :) I told him I am sure we can think of something :+)

What I have learned: I really need to make sure that I don't let this become something other that what it set out to be. One of our main goals in doing this is to simplify our lives more so that God can come through clearer. I may be making the act of simplifying more complicated than it needs to be. I think I am over thinking and planning and I need to sit back and let God be God!


What I want to learn: I would like to learn where I need to cut back on time obligations. The class that I went to that started this whole thought process, I have not been able to make it back to because of other obligations that have popped up! Pretty pathetic huh!!

Date Night!

Okay, I mentioned last week about trying to simplify my time and I spoke a little more about it yesterday. I said I was going to walk tonight while Tori is in her gymnastics class. Well....I had an even better idea. William is going to meet me there and we are going out to dinner together and then walk together! Wooohoooo! I would say this is excellent use of my time, being able to spend it with the most wonderful man on earth! As you can tell, I am really excited.

On Thursday, Brianna and I have tickets to see "Wicked". We have awesome seats! Both of us are really excited. She had really wanted to see the show so we got tickets in December for her birthday. We are going to go out to lunch together first so if you have any suggestions, let me know!

Today Brianna still has one co-op class and Tori is supposed to go to a movie watching party, but I am not sure we are going to make that yet. Then of course William and I have our date.

May you have an outstanding, blessed day!

Hooray!!

Hooray!! Today is the last day of coop clases before the summer. I really enjoy getting to participate in the coop, but it is a lot of work and I am looking forward to a break. The girls have had a great time doing it this year also. They should get their yearbooks today, which they are very excited about!

Monday's tend to be hectic because after coop, Tori has gymnastics. Tonight after her regular gymnastics class she has a two hour break and then another lesson to try and help her get her back handspring. He told her on Friday that she was doing about 1 out of 3 on her own and on the floor. He said he thought that she should be able to get it this week. I worry that now she is going to stress so much now about trying to get it this week that she won't! Oh well, I guess we will see. They have moved her up a level in her tumbling so she can go ahead and start working on the back tuck. I have been nervous enough watching the handspring, I am not sure I can handle more!!

I am so glad that I listened to William and did not plant all of my veggies before this weekend! My lettuce likes the cold, but I am thankful my tomatoes did not have to try it out. I am enjoying the cool snap though. I know that a few months from now we will be melting.

I have been so worried about Emaleigh not having friends her age at church. I talked to her Bible class teacher this weekend at LTC and found out that this particular class just has a different makeup and it is not just Emaleigh! That makes me feel better. I just need to help her find someone to hang out with.

Oops, just saw the time and I need to skat and get ready for coop!!

Have an awesome day!!

KRisti