Finally I Can Eat Out!!

Okay, so that is not really the way I planned on feeling after our 30 day experiement was over, but it was one of the first things I thought this morning!

I am going to change the format a bit for this final post of 30 Days of Nothing (less).

What I Wanted to Learn: I wanted a deeper appreciation for what I have. I wanted us as a family to get a sort of slap in the face wake up call of how blessed we are and how we can better use what we are given. I wanted to gain a better understanding of those that have physical needs that are not being met. Framkly, I wanted myself and my family to become goodwill, peace bearers to all parts of the world, give up much of what we have and help others while maintining our comfortable life. I also thought that I would learn to save abundant amounts of money that I secretly figured I would spend on yours truly.

What I Actually Learned: I will say that I did gain a better appreciation for the blessings that we have been given. I must admit though, what I wanted to learn and what I actually learned are very different. I did not learn to save money, in fact, I don't know how we ever survive when we can shop and eat out. I did learn about once a month cooking and hope to continue that. God had different plans for me during this.

I went through a few stages. To begin with there was excitement and a feeling of anticipation of change. Maybe a bit of self-righteousness thrown in. About a week into it, I started to see things in a way that I was not accustomed to. God started using this to show me some character issues that I really needed to work on. So what did I do, I decided that I would fix them! I read the Bible, talked to people and looked online. I found and read some great things, but I began to see a deeper issue, I was afraid to ask for help. As the days went on, I think I finally realised that I could not fix this and if it would be fixed, I would need His help. I have asked for it now and I know that He will create in me a pure and selfless heart. There are tasks that I must do, but the plan is His and the orders are His.

Final Thoughts: Reading over my blog entries for the past four weeks, I do see a shift in my focus. I began with looking at myself, moved to glancing at others, then shifted to looking at Him while still glancing back at myself. I long to keep my gaze on Him.

I am really excited to share this final thing with you. I had written several times about wanting to long for and experience God in a way that I have yet to experience. The girls and I, minus Emi and William because Emi is sick, were on our way to church this morning. We were planning on only going to class and then heading home. I had the local Christian radio station playing and they were playing their praise and worship music. I felt an overwhelming surge of love and worshipfullness that I began to cry. I told the girls that we would go ahead and stay for service because I just wanted to spend the morning praising Him and I knew going home after class I would clean house and do chores. I did not think about it until later today, but I was longing to be with Him!

So despite my initial wonderings as to whether or not this was a failure for us, I see that God is working through it and in me. I am not the same person I was when I began this 30 days ago. Hopefully I am not the same person in 30 more days than I am today.

Thank you so much for sticking with me through this. I really have appreciated the comments and I must admit that after week one, had I not posted this and had you guys asking me about it, I would have quit. So much would have been missed!

Father, I thank you and praise you for you are the creator of all things good. You take my misguided adventures and turn them into life lessons. You have been patient with me through my mistakes and I know that you celebrate with me when I am able to hear You and follow You! Only You alone are worthy of my praise. Help me lay down my crown at your feet!