Birth Story #4 Cont'd

If you are just starting, go and read the post below this one so you will know what has been going on!! I have a little spare time so in order to not keep Heather waiting...:)

Once again, I want to clarify something. Anything I mention here that I was against or felt was wrong for me is pertaining just to that situation and just to me. It is nothing I am against or feel is wrong, but it was not the plan and I was fighting the plan! Different pregnancy, different time, different plan and things could have been much different. I am not talking here about opinion, just retelling a story. I hope you all understand what I am saying.

Okay, we have this wreck...

Everyone is okay and we begin the insurancy stuff! It was such an easy process that it was just another way we were able to see God encouraging us to rest in His plan. I go to the rental car place to pick up some transportation while our SUV is being fixed. The lady offers me a Jeep SUV. I felt funny about this so I asked her if she had anything else because I was a little afraid of driving after having the wreck and she offered us a minivan. Great! We took it. I took out that insurance that they always offer you, called my insurance agent the next day and was assured that statistically I would probably never use it so to drop it. I did.

Several days later we meet my dad for a nutritious Taco Bueno dinner before Girl Scouts. As we leave the restaurant, Emaleigh cries that she does not want to get in the car, she is scared of another wreck. After we get in, I explain to her that she should not be afraid because we were safer then than we were two weeks ago because it was a statistic improbability that we would have two wrecks in one week (Huge Mistake!!). Once again I look at my plan and my boundaries and my stats!

As we are on our way, all of a sudden a car comes out of a parking lot going around 30 mph. Witnesses say she was on a cell phone and did not slow down to look whatsoever. We were in the center lane of three. She slammed into us where the passenger door is. This sent us into the far lane of traffic where we were hit on that side by another van. I looked over after the other van hit us and I saw a lady driving the second before she slammed head on into one of those huge metal utility poles. The original lady that hit us had spun around after impact and hit us a third time from behind. The girls were all screaming, I was crying and trying to get out of the car to get to the girls. I panicked and needed out! William was in the drivers seat and he was able to get out on his side and get the girls out and then I climbed out. We were all settled on the side of the road...again and the sirens came. On a funny note, our wreck was close to the city line so we had two sets of emergency help arrive.

People are helping the other van unload their four kids as well and other people gathered to make sure the lady that caused it all did not leave. I guess as she sped through the parking lot, she had already made several people mad. They were yelling at her and I felt really sorry for her. Anyway...our rental van was totalled. It almost sheared the drivers door completely off. The other van's front was cut in half by the pole. One driver had rib pain due to the airbag and I had hit my head on the side of the van, but we were all okay...again! We were terrified, but okay! God has a plan. I thought again about this baby that I was carrying and felt so blessed.

We got a ride home after the accident and as I walked into the door, the phone was ringing. It was Williams brother calling to tell us that Williams dad had unexpectedly died. Honestly, I thought it was a joke, but it was not. I can only imagine the emotions that William had to deal with. His mom had died 9 months before, his wife was pregnant, we had 2 wrecks and no car. We are blessed. It did not feel like it, but we were blessed.

There was a message on the answering machine from the auto shop that was fixing our car. They had told us it would take around three weeks to fix our car, but they were leaving a message saying it was done early. We had transportation to William's hometown. I had a sonogram scheduled for the next day because they had been unable to find the baby's heartbeat after the first wreck, they found it, we were blessed! If we had been driving an SUV instead of the van, the impact would have caused us to roll and we would have gone into oncoming traffic, we were blessed.

I could not see all of the blessings at the time. In fact, there were times that I felt very alone, but God was showing us His plan. When you are in His plan, there are blessings, there is grace and there is love.

Things eventually calmed down. The pregnancy was going pretty good. I enjoyed it like I had not enjoyed any of the other ones. I appreciated every day and celebrated the life that was growing. The past pregnancies, I was so caught up in how I did or did not feel, what I needed to do and stuff like that, that I did not take the time to appreciate the miracle of it all. I prayed and prayed for the baby.

No preeclampsia this time! My perinatologist kept telling me it would come back, but I knew better! All was well until...my selfish ego stepped in...again :)

I did not want to be induced again. I had prayed about this and really felt that it was important. One day after my due date, my wonderful doctor wanted to induce. If I had been courageous and less concerned about what she would think about me, I would have asked her to wait. I did not and I had barely made it out of her office before I knew that I had sinned. (I think I need to clarify here that my sin was in my not stepping up and being bold, not the induction itself) I knew this was not in what part of God's plan that He had revealed to me, but I was selfish and let my ego control.

After getting home, I talked to William and I found many ways to justify following what my doctor said, but deep down, I knew I should call her...I did not.

Induction day arrives and they get things started. After 8 hours there was no progress, she broke my water and nothing, but muconium (which is not the best thing). We keep on, but eventually she comes to me and says that the baby will not drop at all, she is showing signs of distress and I needed a c-section. She explained that she knew I did not want one, but the baby's well being depended on it and she would be back with papers for me to sign. I cried and cried. William suggested that we pray.

I am praying and begging God to fix this, please let the baby drop! I was angry and told God that I had stood on His word throughout this time and He was not helping me! I told Him that this was not part of the plan!

I instantly felt His reply. No, this was not part of His plan, but I had decided to go with my plan. "Oh God!" I prayed, "please forgive me. I know it was sinful of me and I am so sorry!" I repented with every fiber of my being. Many times I repent because I have been caught, but with this, with this I felt shame. He had carried me and blessed me so much and I had, yet again, taken a hammer and pounded the nails in Him. I was so sorry!

At that instant, I felt the baby drop. William was still praying and I told Him to get the nurse. He tried to reassure me that the surgery would be fine, but I told him he was misunderstanding me, the baby was coming.

The nurse and doctor came in with the paper work. I told her what I felt, she checked and out came Kalli! They had nothing prepared in the room, it was awesome! It was the most beautiful thing. I held her and cried and cried! She had swallowed a bit of meconium, but she was fine.

Not only did God teach me about His plan through this pregnancy, but He taught me about true repentance and grace.

When this began, it was not part of the plan and I could not see how it ever would be. Now, I can't imagine any other plan! I am blessed!!