Parenting Rules

When Brianna was born, I think I read every parenting book ever written. I was overwhelmed by the differences in the advice and the research that backed everyone up. After Tori was born I read all the books again and it was then that we decided no more books (parenting books that is :). Each book had seemingly great advice, but each book had different advice. I did not know what I should be doing or not doing! Over the years we have come up with our own general parenting guidelines. We have also become acutely aware of the fact that each child is different and if one way of consequences works on one child, great! It probably will not work on the next one!!

Our rules as parents are:

1. Always let the child know that without God, we know, succeed, teach nothing! We let them know that all we do for and to them is something that we have prayed about, it is not just to torture them. He is the ultimate parenting authority.

2. Respond to needs in some way immediatley, teach that wants can be put on hold.

3. Never let them win during a power of wills until they are old enough to have the ability of reason, then you can work out a compromise. Pick and choose the battle of wills carefully as a parent.

4. Allow them to make as many choices as possible while their choices will not have life-changing consequences. This allows them to experience consequences and work on better choices while they can. Begin early to teach them to proper way to make a choice.

5. Don't let them make a choice if you are not willing to let them face the consequence of that choice. If they make a bad choice and you pull them out of it, it starts a really bad pattern!

6. Listen! If you listen when they talk when they are young, they will be more likely to talk to you when they are older.

7. Teach them early on that we, the parents, are not all knowing and all powerfull, but God is. We will not always be there to help them, but He will.

8. Allow home to be a safe place. If home is a peaceful place to come, they will be more inclined to come!

9. Pray about and know when to allow for independance. If they do not learn how to be independant until they are out of the home, you will not be there to help guide them.

10. Don't just tell them that they are special and capable, show them! Chores are great for showing children that they are needed in a family and are capable. Find something they are successful in (like a sport, or a hobby) and be their encourager.

These, by all means, don't cover everything and they will not be good for everyone, but it is what works for us as general guidelines. We are not successful in all of them all of the time, but it is good to know what we are striving for!!